Category: Leadership

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Communications Leadership Productivity Success Secrets

The Sandwich Approach to Coaching Employees: Build Trust, Inspire Growth

Imagine a sandwich. The soft, golden top bun represents your opening gesture, a sincere compliment that sets a positive tone. The juicy meat inside is the core, the constructive feedback delivering the necessary truths. And the satisfying bottom bun? Another kind word or encouragement to reinforce confidence and close the conversation on a high note. It’s simple, structured, and utterly effective. This is what I call the Sandwich Approach to coaching employees, and it’s more powerful than you might think. (I know there’s a fancier name, but I like the metaphor.)

Why does it work? I’ve found that humans are deeply wired to respond to acknowledgment and encouragement. Lead with a compliment, and you disarm defensiveness. Follow with constructive insights, and you inspire growth instead of resentment. Close with encouragement, and you leave people motivated to act. The result? A transformative conversation that fosters trust, promotes problem-solving, and cultivates stronger relationships.

Fostering Receptivity with Encouragement

Handing out compliments isn’t just nice; it’s strategic. The top bun isn’t fluff; it’s the opening move that establishes psychological safety. When an employee hears their effort or skill recognized, they feel seen. They relax. Their mind opens.

Consider this scenario. An underperforming team member is chronically late with reports. Walk into that conversation with, “Your analytical skills are excellent; your last report was particularly insightful,” and now they’re listening. Their confidence hasn’t been shattered by criticism upfront, and they’re primed for feedback that follows.

Then comes the meat. Address the issue directly. “However, when these are late, they’re causing issues for the team. It’s delaying them. We need you to turn these in by the agreed deadlines.” Clear, firm, and actionable. It’s an unvarnished truth delivered in a way that emphasizes their capability to improve.

Finally, the bottom bun seals the deal. “I know you value collaboration, and I trust you’ll take this seriously. I’m confident you have the skills to adjust moving forward.” Notice the shift. Instead of leaving the conversation weighed down, the employee walks away hopeful, knowing their strengths haven’t been dismissed.

Building Trust and Encouraging Growth

Beyond the professional setting, this approach works wonders in personal conflicts. I have a large family and have tons of experiences talking through conflicts. But imagine a disagreement with a friend over canceled plans. Instead of leading with, “Why are you so unreliable?”, start with, “You’re such a great friend, and I value the time we spend together.” That’s the top bun. It makes them more open to hearing, “When you cancel at the last minute, it leaves me scrambling and feeling, well…undervalued.” That’s your meat. End with softness. “I know you wouldn’t want to hurt our connection, and I appreciate you making time for me when things are hectic.” Now you’ve addressed the problem without damaging the relationship. That’s influence, not argument, at work.

Promoting Positive Communication Across Teams

The Sandwich Approach isn’t just for one-on-one corrections. For team feedback, it’s a culture-builder. Think about quarterly reviews. Start with your team’s achievements. “This quarter, we hit record engagement numbers. Your dedication to this project really showed.” Then introduce the challenges. “However, productivity took a hit during the final phases, and that bottleneck stalled delivery.” Close by amplifying their potential. “These are fixable issues, and I’m excited to see how we’ll adapt next quarter. This team’s capability to problem-solve is unmatched.”

Notice the nuance here. The focus doesn’t linger solely on what went wrong, nor does it sugarcoat reality. It inspires improvement while honoring their effort. And it takes just minutes to put together a message that could shape morale for weeks.

Professional and Personal Benefits

Why limit the Sandwich Approach to feedback? Its principles apply broadly. Handle client disputes by starting with appreciation, addressing concerns, and closing with re-commitment to satisfaction. Mending a misunderstanding with family? Acknowledge their perspective before addressing the conflict, then end with affection. The approach bridges divides in ways blunt confrontation rarely can.

Does this mean sugarcoating unpleasant truths? Not at all. Praise needs to be authentic, and critique must be specific. Simply sandwiching criticism between false compliments cheapens the interaction. The success lies in sincerity. Without it, the Sandwich falls apart.

The Sandwich Approach might seem basic, but it’s anything but simplistic. It’s a precision tool that strengthens relationships, transforms communication, and sets the foundation for mutual respect. Each layer has a purpose, creating a dynamic where truth, in fact, doesn’t feel like an attack and feedback becomes a gift.

#ConstructiveConversations #FeedbackThatBuilds #LeadWithKindness #TheSandwichApproach

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Leadership Productivity Success Secrets

Warren Buffett’s Legacy: Why Integrity Still Matters Most in Leadership

With the news that Warren Buffett will retire as CEO in 2025, it’s truly the end of an era. For decades, the man known as the Oracle of Omaha has been a steady, wise and wildly successful presence in the business world. His presence has influenced my financial advisors, who have influenced me. His exit may close a chapter at Berkshire Hathaway, but his words—and values—will echo long after he’s gone.

Among the many nuggets of wisdom Mr. Buffett has shared over the years, one quote in particular that I like:

“We look for three things when we hire people: intelligence, energy, and integrity. And if they don’t have the last one, don’t even bother.”

That one sentence might just be the best leadership advice out there. I’ve hired over 120 professionals and seen that intelligence helps people solve problems. Energy gets things done. (I’d rather have an employee with more energy than less because trying to pump their energy up every day is exhausting.) But without integrity? Yeah, everything else falls apart—in a hurry.

Why Integrity Isn’t Optional

Buffett didn’t just talk about integrity. From my view, he built a company culture around it. He understood that brains and hustle alone aren’t enough. Without a moral backbone, even the most talented person can do real damage.

I’ve seen companies packed with smart, driven people. But a lack of integrity turned all that potential into disaster. Sometimes companies collapse under the weight of their own deceit, dragging down employees, investors and public trust along with it.

On the flip side, look at Microsoft under Satya Nadella. When he took the reins in 2014, Nadella didn’t just bring new ideas—he brought a new tone. He emphasized empathy, a growth mindset, accountability, trust and more. The result? A transformed culture and one of the most impressive corporate turnarounds in recent memory. That’s what integrity in leadership looks like.

The Real Power of Integrity

So why does integrity matter so much? For starters, leaders set the tone. When the person at the top is honest, fair and grounded, that mindset ripples through the whole organization. People feel respected. They feel safe to speak up. They trust each other—and the company. At Richter7 advertising, we wanted associates to feel safe about sharing ideas, even if they disagreed with their bosses. (I knew we were getting to that level when I saw an intern disagree with our chairman in a client strategy meeting, and the chairman considered the new information and agreed with the intern. It was a huge endorsement to let others be seen and heard.)

Trust, in business, is everything. It keeps employees and customers loyal. It strengthens partnerships. It protects your brand when the unexpected hits. For example, companies like Patagonia didn’t just earn its reputation by being smart; they earned them by doing what’s right—even when it was hard.

Finally, integrity leads to long-term thinking. Buffett has always played the long game. He’s said more than once that success isn’t about what happens this quarter, but what you build over decades. That reminded me of my years in Japan where I saw leaders were more interested in the long game. Leaders with integrity resist the lure of shortcuts. They stay focused on the big picture.

Putting Buffett’s Wisdom to Work Today

So how do we actually apply Mr. Buffett’s hiring advice today? I’ve seen three ways to make integrity a real part of my company’s DNA:

1. Talk About Values from the Start

Job descriptions shouldn’t just list skills—they should reflect company values. Make it clear that you value honesty, integrity and accountability just as much as results.

2. Ask the Right Interview Questions

Get beyond the résumé. Ask candidates how they handled ethical dilemmas. What did they do when the right thing wasn’t the easy thing? Their body language and verbal answers will tell you more than any GPA or job title ever could.

3. Walk the Talk

I’ve learned that each company follows the lead of a central persona, which is normally flows from the CEO. If you want to build a team with integrity, model it yourself. Make values-based decisions. Own your mistakes. Be accountable. Celebrate people who do the right thing, not just those who hit their numbers.

A Call to the Next Generation

In my 40-plus years in a career, I’ve seen that today’s business world is more complicated than ever with my clients dealing with everything from remote work to climate change to questions of diversity and inclusion. Through it all, one thing hasn’t changed: the need for leaders and employees with integrity who are honest, courageous and grounded in something deeper than just fame or ambition.

Warren Buffett may be stepping away, but his philosophy still matters. In fact, it might matter more than before. His message is clear: hire smart, hire driven—but above all, hire people you can trust.

Because in a world where trust is rare and reputations are fragile, integrity isn’t just a leadership trait—it’s your best insurance policy.

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Communications Creativity Ideas Leadership Productivity Success Secrets

The Secret Weapon in Decision-Making? A Sharp Sense of Humor

Have you ever been in a tense meeting or faced a high-stakes situation where everything felt heavy? (The advertising/PR business brought that to our team nearly every day.) But just then someone cracks a perfectly-timed quip, and suddenly, the air feels lighter, solutions come easier, and the collective mood lifts?

That’s the power of humor, and it’s not just for laughs. A well-developed sense of humor can be your secret weapon in making smarter decisions, both in life and in your career. Here’s why.

1. Humor Lowers Stress and Sharpens Perspective

Stress has a funny way of shrinking our world. When we’re overwhelmed, our thinking narrows, and it’s harder to see the big picture. Humor, on the other hand, acts like a reset button. It helps us step back and reassess situations with fresh eyes.

I’ve often noticed this in my work with public relations teams. PR is a fast-paced world, full of shifting deadlines and high-pressure moments. But when someone breaks the ice with humor, the stress dissipates, and the team can refocus on what really matters. Have you noticed how laughing at a problem—even briefly—makes it feel less imposing? In fact, once during a very depressing day, I brought my entire team into the conference room to listen to 30 minutes of comedian Brian Regan. After that laugh fest, we felt like we could conquer anything. No problem.

Humor didn’t solve the issue, but it certainly clears the mental fog so we can tackle it with clarity.

2. It Encourages Creative Thinking

When was the last time you had a truly original idea while you were stressed out or stuck in routine thinking? Probably never. Humor boosts creativity by pushing us to think outside the box. A good laugh releases psychological tension and opens doors to unconventional solutions.

3. Humor Strengthens Relationships and Builds Trust

Making confident decisions often involves collaboration. If you’re leading a team or negotiating with a client, trust and rapport are non-negotiable. Humor can help you build those connections faster than almost anything else. Why? Because it humanizes us. It shows empathy, relatability, and even vulnerability.

When I counsel PR clients, it’s always obvious which leaders use humor effectively. In fact, my Southwest Airlines client was a master at this. They don’t just inspire confidence; they make people feel at ease. From that come some of the best solutions to challenges.

No doubt, when the mood is brighter and approachable, employees, stakeholders, and customers alike are more likely to open up, share ideas, or buy into decisions. It’s a simple approach, but the results are extraordinary.

4. Humor Improves Decision-Making Under Pressure

Pressure is unavoidable in both life and business. But decisions made under pressure are better when we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Good humor has a way of reminding us that failure isn’t the end of the world. More often than not, it’s just a stepping stone to success.

Think about it this way: isn’t it easier to approach a daunting challenge when you’re in a positive, relaxed state of mind? A genuinely funny moment in a crisis can give us the mental break we need to avoid impulsive reactions and make reasoned choices instead. Next time the stakes are high, try smiling before making your next move. Odds are your mind will follow suit and great ideas will flow.

5. It’s Contagious—in All the Right Ways

Perhaps one of humor’s greatest strengths is its ability to spread. A single laugh can transform the tone of a meeting, energize a room and set the stage for productive discussion. And when positivity is contagious, so is confidence. Once you’ve bonded through humor, collaboration feels more natural, and decision-making becomes a shared, human experience rather than a lonely task.

Have you thought about how this plays out in your own life or career? Is there a team dynamic that could benefit from a little levity? Reflecting on moments where humor worked wonders might surprise you.

Humor is More than Fun—It’s a Strategy

At its core, good humor isn’t just about delivering punchlines; it’s about creating space for better thinking, deeper connections and more sound decisions. Whether you’re navigating personal challenges or guiding clients through complex projects, humor can transform the way you approach problems.

I love Marjorie Pay Hinckley’s quote: “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” 

Laughing your way through it may not be the goal, but it’s worth asking yourself, are you using humor enough? If not, give it a try. Experiment with adding a touch of wit or lightheartedness to your daily interactions. You may find that not only does it improve your mood, but it also sharpens your ability to tackle the tricky decisions that come your way. After all, laughter isn’t just good medicine; it’s also great strategy.

#leadershipmatters #humoratwork #smartdecisions

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Communications Leadership Success Secrets

How Can I Develop Critical Thinking Skills?

Because of its importance in our daily lives, critical thinking is a skill that anyone would benefit from developing and using. You can certainly learn how to think critically and improve your problem-solving skills with little extra effort.

Practice these techniques both at home and at work and soon you’ll reprogram your brain to automatically consider all sides of a problem—with a goal of making better decisions:

  1. Think for yourself. First, don’t be so quick to ask others for the answers to your problems. Step back from the issue and look at the subject from all angles. Consider all relevant information about the situation to exercise critical thinking effectively.
  • Try not to make snap judgments. Stephen R. Covey said, work to understand before trying to be understood. In other words, examine all of the evidence closely and absorb all of the data first. When you consider all relevant data, your decision will be well-reasoned.
  • Evaluate objectively. Evaluating the information without letting your own opinions affect your judgment is one of the biggest hurdles people face when trying to develop their critical thinking skills. Objective reasoning doesn’t happen overnight.
  • You may need to make a conscious effort to think past your own opinions. Imagine that you are not yourself, but instead a totally neutral outside observer. As such, how would that change your view of a situation? Being able to get yourself into this mindset will go far toward your development of effective critical thinking capabilities. Often, I like to argue the exact opposite of what I first thought—just to explore the issue from a different view. It’s always fascinating for me.

Even if it takes some time to sharpen your critical thinking skills, the benefits far outweigh the effort. Critical thinking will teach you an entirely new way to look at the world and can do wonders for your abilities as a problem solver. As a critical thinker, you’ll be better equipped to face challenges presented by an ever-changing world, and you’ll be well-served in both your personal and professional life.

BONUS MATERIAL

Teaching Children Critical Thinking

As with most things in life, if you begin teaching your children how to think critically, they can master this process, which will benefit them greatly as adults.

To build the next generation of leaders, here are a few tips to help your children expand their problem-solving capabilities:

  1. Ask your child questions. Reinforce what they’ve learned at school with simple questions about their homework. Ask their opinions about their social activities or their favorite activities to spark conversation and encourage kids to think of relevant answers.
  • Respect your child’s opinion. Children are complete individuals with their own belief systems. Listening to and considering their opinions will give them confidence.
  • Confident children who voice their opinions will become confident adults who will actively participate in life.
  • Let your children think for themselves. If you do everything for your child and answer every single question for them, they’ll always rely on you – the parent – for their answers. For the sake of their healthy future, please resist that.
  •  Encourage your child to find their own answers to their questions and praise them when they find the answer. When our own children would ask us how to spell a word, our answer was the same: “What do you think? Sound it out.” We found that helped them on their discovery path, rather than spell new words for them Every. Single. Time.

#CriticalThinking #ProblemSolving #ThinkForYourself #ObjectiveEvaluation #BetterDecisions #SelfImprovement

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Communications Ideas Leadership Productivity

Better Sleep = Better Communicator: Six Steps

Sleep is super important for our health and how we feel every day. But many experts say that most of us aren’t getting enough good-quality sleep. Why is that? Even though we know how important it is, we still struggle to get the rest we need. This shows that we really need to focus on sleeping better if we want to stay healthy and full of energy.

To help ensure that you’re getting the sleep you need to thrive, I’ve generated this guide to getting a better night’s sleep. Are you ready for some serious rest?

Why is sleep so important?

Sleep is an essential function for your body. It’s a chance for both your mind and body to recharge and recuperate and is vital for staying healthy. According to some experts, sleep can even stave off diseases.

Lack of sleep impacts your ability to think clearly, concentrate, retain and process memories and even communicate. As a rule, adults require between seven and nine hours of sleep a night, while children and teens need more. I’ve found 7.5 hours works for me, but I’ll gladly take 8 hours.

Getting into a good sleep routine and maintaining excellent sleep hygiene are both key for keeping you happy, healthy and well. A busy life, chaotic work schedule, poor diet and even a crowded, cluttered environment can all impact the quality of your sleep.

There are a number of changes that can help you enjoy a better night’s sleep and we will discuss the ultimate six step plan below:

1. Develop a sleep schedule

A sleep schedule is crucial if you want to enjoy restful, restorative sleep. You can achieve this by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day and not changing this by more than an hour on weekends.

Sticking to a consistent sleep cycle reinforces the natural sleep-wake cycle of your body, offering higher quality sleep.

2. Change your diet

It’s important not to eat too late or have a heavy meal before you’re planning to go to sleep. (It’s not always easy, but I love it when I stop eating late.) This can cause discomfort that can prevent you from sleeping. It’s also a good idea to avoid caffeine and alcohol because these can stimulate you and keep you awake.

While it can be tempting to keep munching and drinking before bed, this can disrupt your REM sleep cycle, reducing the quality of your sleep.

3. Create the right environment

Make sure your space is designed to facilitate a good night’s sleep. This means a room that is cool, dark and quiet.

Most important, you should primarily use your bedroom for sleeping. Do not work, watch television or eat in bed because all that can impact your sleep.

4. Create a pre-sleep routine

We taught our kids they had to do 5 things before going to bed (pajamas, brush teeth, etc.) and it worked! We adults kind of forget the magic of routings, but having a pre-sleep routine alerts your body that it’s almost time to sleep and this can result in a more restful night.

Take a long, hot bath, listen to relaxing music or try meditation for calmness. All of these send your body messages that it is almost time to sleep.

5. Get some exercise during the day

Physical activity helps guarantee a better night’s sleep, so make sure you’re getting fresh air and exercise every day.

6. Manage your worries

Worries and anxieties are also things that stop you from sleeping, so try journaling, meditating and writing to help keep your worries and anxieties in check. I’ve also intentionally stop reading work emails at night, knowing that I can better deal with them the next morning.

Final Thoughts

Developing a better sleep routine could be your secret weapon toward long-term health and success. It is hard to emphasize the importance of a good night’s sleep, but I’ve found I function better as a communicator, husband, father, neighbor – you name it. I hope you make the most of these six steps and enjoy those eight hours of shut eye.

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Communications Leadership Success Secrets

The Art of Apology

Have you ever hurt someone’s feelings but been oblivious at the time? Perhaps you said something teasing that was interpreted as mean-spirited.

By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have done or said a lot of things that require apologies. But making a heart-felt apology that helps pave the way for better relations requires skill and a mature, deliberate intent.

In this time of reflection, do you feel you need to apologize to someone? If so, perhaps you could benefit from a few pointers before you talk to the person. Even if nothing comes to mind right now that you need to apologize for, check these steps to make your future apologies meaningful:

  1. Acknowledge that you’ve done or said something hurtful. In correcting any mistake, the first step to an apology is to recognize – even to admit privately – that you’ve done something that has caused hurt or emotional pain.
  • Sometimes, people let us know they’re feeling injured by lashing out. Others withdraw and become quiet.

    • Gently asking questions is a great way to begin to discover what’s going on. With sensitivity, try inquiring with your friend or loved one if they’re upset about something in particular. If you think you may know what the issue is, mention it with an empathetic tone. Sometimes I’ve seen the sincere phrase of “Help me understand…” opens up hearts to share. People have told me that approach let them feel that I truly wanted to hear their thoughts and listen sincerely. (After all, they are laying their heart out, so it’s best to handle with care.)

    • Remember that they have a right to decline telling you. If you’ve asked kindly once or twice, and they haven’t engaged with you, let them know that you’d be happy to talk, if or when they become ready. Letting them know you will be there for them often communicates worlds of thoughtfulness and genuine concern.
  • Then, give them some space. While they process their feelings, think back on your words and actions. That inner reflection may lead to you understanding how you may have been wrong or out of line. (It’s possible, right?) Looking objectively as you can (imagine being up in the air looking down at the ordeal), maybe you will easily see what your part was in the situation. When you can clearly articulate the role you played, then you’re ready to make an apology.
  • Find just the right words. Next, consider how to phrase your apology. If you’re sincere about feeling sorry, those words will come to you pretty easily. Ask yourself, “What do I want to say?”

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

– Elton John

  • Finding the right words has two goals. The first is to convey the remorse you feel regarding your actions or words. The second and often-ignored goal is to promise not to repeat your hurtful behavior or comments going forward.

    • In your apology, avoid giving a reason or excuse for your actions. Those who make excuses for their hurtful behaviors look as if they’re trying to defend themselves, and this is not the time for that. In fact, I’ve seen that giving excuses (or even reasons) may never have a place in the apology. Your apology is about the pain caused to them, not about your reasons for your actions.
  • Skillfully communicate your apology. At this point, you’re ready to verbally communicate your feelings.

    • Apologies are best done in person. Choose a comfortable setting where you will not be interrupted. Make eye contact and tell the person you have something important to address with them. During this time we’re in of self-isolation, try to get face time or screen time with them. If you can only arrange a phone call, at least do that. Trust me, you will be the bigger person for taking that step. Know that only texting an apology will nearly always feel flat. As long as we’re going across that bridge of making things right, let’s do the right thing with the right approach.

    • State your apology using appropriate voice tones. Avoid long, drawn out apologies. Make it short and sincere. Convey your honesty with your tone. Joking usually has no place in an apology – not at the beginning, middle or the end. In fact, it is unnecessary and unwelcome.

    • Prepare for any response your friend might have. Of paramount importance is to listen to any comments or questions from your friend about your prior actions. Take each statement seriously without being dismissive of a single one. If they are said, they are important.

    • In the event your friend makes angry comments toward you or further questions your motives in what you originally said or did, listen carefully and recognize that any angry words are most likely the result of hurt feelings. Your best response? Repeat your apology with sincerity.

Making things right is like cleaning out a wound: you have to clean out all of the infection or risk the wound re-infecting the body.

Without a doubt, making genuine, mature and adult apologies takes practice and skill. But if you follow the three steps above, you’ll be well on your way to putting your relationship back into good standing. And you’ll feel better about yourself too! Realizing that no one knows what tomorrow brings, making things right today with those we have hurt is not only the right thing to do, that very action will help us relieve a burden we have been carrying far too long.

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Communications Leadership Success Secrets

How to Make Conversations Sparkle

If I have a problem (some would say I have many!), it would be that I can talk and talk and talk with anybody and you and you and you.

But I’ve found that knowing HOW to make lively conversation enriches your personal and professional life. For example, I have gotten to be friends with greeters, waiters and waitresses in several restaurants and security folks in multiple buildings throughout Manhattan. Why? I dunno. I just like striking up a conversation. I find people fascinating because each one has a story to tell. And oral communication plays a big part in how we learn about each other and draw closer together. Here are some methods for creating better dialogue.

Easy Methods for Improving Your Conversation Skills

  1. Spend plenty of time listening. What? It’s true. You may find you need to actually talk less. Balance the amount of time you spend talking and the time you spend listening. Give others a chance to contribute. Think of conversations like a volleyball game where you can’t play unless the ball volleys back and forth over the net. Same thing.
  2. Offer sincere compliments. If you can’t be genuine, don’t bother. But heartfelt compliments will warm up any exchange. Let people know you recognize their good qualities and the positive impact they make. My client and I once complimented a security man in midtown Manhattan about his expensive-looking gold watch. He beamed! We made a new friend and were greeted with a smile every time we returned over the years.
  3. Watch how others respond. Be self-aware and observant when you’re talking. Always read the audience. If people are fidgeting, looking away or yawning, it could be a sign to change subjects or draw your chat to a close. (That just happened to me on a 30-minute Zoom call. I saw the other person was looking at things on his desk and responding less, so I instantly knew nothing more that I would say would register well. Next step? Thank him for his time and wrap it up. No personal offense was taken by me; I realized it was just time to end the meeting.)
  4. Search out compatible people. Even if you’ve got some unusual interests and views, you can always find kindred spirits. Find a fellow music lover who will share their love for a top artist or an outdoors enthusiast to exchange adventure stories with.
  5. Provide background information. People will be more receptive to unfamiliar subjects if you start at the beginning. Growing up in the South, I learned people will also open up when you do. Fill in the facts so it’s easier to follow what you’re talking about. And listen to them for their top points. It’s magic.
  6. Open up your body language. A smile, friendly gestures and confident eye contact make you appear more likable and interesting. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and uncross your arms. In fact, stand as if a wire is holding you up from the crown of your head. Everything else will then fall into place and look natural.
  7. Speak clearly. Slow down and articulate your words. Everything sounds better when you avoid mumbling. Holding your head up automatically makes you sound more energetic and warm.
  8. Amp up your vocab. Increase your word power because the more expansive your vocabulary, the easier it is to select the precise words to convey your message. You’ll also make a better impression, sound more persuasive, garner more respect and likely earn more money. Simply put, you’ll AMAZE yourself. Best program I’ve found (with words we actually would use) is Executive Vocabulary (blue cover). Email me if you can’t find it. Definitely worth it.

More Challenging Methods for Improving Your Conversation Skills

  1. Cherish others. People will be more receptive to anything you’ve got to say if they sense you take a sincere (key word!) interest in them and want to help them. Remind yourself of all YOU have to be grateful for. Look for opportunities to extend positive feelings you hold about your loved ones to a broader circle of acquaintances. Pay it forward. Live the Abundance Mentality (see Covey’s definition) and watch great things come your way.
  2. Nourish your self-esteem. Know that you matter and you have worthwhile things to contribute. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and take strategic risks when it comes to speaking your mind.
  3. Express your emotions. Be honest with yourself about your true feelings so you can talk about them in a constructive manner. This is another blessing from being raised in the candid South in a large family run by an Italian mother. We shared feelings. And we learned that discussing conflicts directly and tactfully prevents them from building up. Your example may give others the freedom to disclose more, too.
  4. Focus on the present moment. Engage fully in what you’re doing. My kids have taught me to live in the moment and focus on the now. When you’re with others, set aside distractions (phones, devices) so you can give people your full attention. (In fact, more than once, I’ve had coworkers texting IN meetings WITH clients sitting RIGHT ACROSS the table from them. It was disconcerting to everyone, rude to the client – who’s paying the bills – and ultra-obvious to everyone…except the texter.)
  5. Lead a meaningful life. Commit yourself to lifelong learning, use your leisure time well and do good for others. One of my mentors, Bruce Jensen, told me that in grad school, he would even make the most of the minutes waiting at the bus stop for his ride. Amazing dedication. And someone who is constantly learning, creating and inspiring. Be like that and, trust me, you’ll be at that level, too. Along the way, you’ll even have more to talk about.
  6. Practice consistently. Like everything else, conversation skills improve the more you use them. Brush up on small talk with the cashier at the store, other customers at the café, food servers and the mail carrier. Those small tasks will better prepare for your next job interview or for having dinner with your growing network of associates.

Some of these suggestions are easy to use and others will require significant effort. They’re all worthwhile, though. Making conversations sparkle will help you to share more of yourself with others, deepen your friendships and make the world around you richer with memories.

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Communications Leadership Success Secrets

How to Lead With Courage

There she was: an intern standing at the front of the room with senior executives and the company chairman – all agency team members for the venerable Jackson Hole Mountain Resort ad account. She reported her research findings, but the chairman, whose second love was Jackson Hole, said, “That’s not right” and set the record straight. We all agreed because he was, after all, the chairman who lived and breathed everything Jackson Hole long before any of us were on the team.

Everyone agreed, that is, except the intern – who was STILL in college! She countered, “Well, actually that IS right because I just spoke with them yesterday and they said…”

WOW! A showdown. Intern vs. Chairman. I braced myself.

Then Bob (chairman) said, “Oh, okay. I didn’t know that. You have more current information than I have.” Credit to Bob. But CREDIT to the INTERN!!

Twenty-plus years later, I still remember that incident and still work with that intern who advanced to senior positions, landed clients on the Today Show, etc., and is balancing her own PR firm demands with home-schooling kids during the pandemic.

Can you lead with courage? Can you lead with courage as a junior person in front of a roomful of senior execs? YES!

When we think of leaders, we might be tempted to think of courageous and heroic figures. The leader is the person at the vanguard of the army, leading the charge and taking the brunt of any enemy attacks. That’s what it means to be a leader in comic books and films after all.

Of course, this is not the reality for most of us. Most people will be managers and successful leaders, where there is very little gunfire or charging.

But that doesn’t mean you can rest. It is still very important to be courageous and heroic. It’s just that this courage will take a different form.

Leading Through Action

The best leaders are action-takers, like the intern. When we lead through action, we set a positive example for our team and inspire them to take action. In this way, we avoid one of the worst traits any leader can possess: hypocrisy.

Few things will inspire dissent in your ranks as quickly as being seen as hypocritical.

Nobody likes being asked to do things because they feel that their boss is simply unwilling or even afraid to do it themselves. You are in charge and with that comes responsibility. Giving the worst jobs to your team and not taking part in them yourself is an abuse of your power.

Decisiveness

Leading through action also means being decisive. It means being able to quickly make a decision and be willing to commit to that action. It means doing the homework and knowing your stuff.

Many lesser leaders make the mistake of deferring or avoiding decision-making. Their fear is that they’ll make the wrong decision and lose the respect of their staff. Their fear is they will disagree with the chairman or senior leaders and be relegated lower.

Just the opposite is likely to happen (if you do it politely…like Mama taught).

Being indecisive is worse than making an unwise or incorrect decision. Why? Because being indecisive makes a person seem weak and uncertain. And while taking action might sometimes result in a negative outcome, I’ve seen where delaying a decision has only ever had negative consequences.

Conversely, it’s nearly always inspiring to see someone who makes quick decisions, doesn’t doubt themselves and speaks up. Decisiveness also builds confidence in your team members.

Responsibility

How is decisiveness a mark of courage?

Simply put, it means that you’re willing to accept the responsibility that comes with the role of being a leader. Being a leader doesn’t mean telling others what to do and it certainly doesn’t mean getting to take all the credit.

Being a leader means taking responsibility for the team.

It means protecting them so they can do their best work. It means making decisions and being willing to deal with the consequences. It’s only when we don’t want to look bad that we avoid making decisions… and that is ultimately a mark of cowardice.

Fortitude

Finally, being a courageous leader means that you take your lumps when things do go sour. If you make a mistake, it’s important to not only own up to it, but also to stay calm and collected when you’re reprimanded by your own superiors, or when the organization risks collapsing.

Likewise, it’s absolutely crucial to remain calm in a crisis. That means setting a good example when things seem to be going wrong for the team. Prevent your team from going into a panic. I’ve often asked, “What kind of a captain do you want in charge of the ship caught in a storm? Be that captain.”

Stay calm and you’ll be able to address difficult issues in the most clear-thinking way.

How to Be the Hero They Need

Where does all this courage and stoicism come from? How can you acquire it if you don’t possess it naturally? Does it mean trying to act tough?

Not at all.

Being a truly great leader comes from having the right priorities. It means forgetting yourself and, instead, focusing on the goals of your group/team/company and the happiness that very team that makes it all happen. When you do that, it’s easy to be a courageous leader.

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Communications Creativity Ideas Leadership Success Secrets

Be the First in the Room to Say . . .

I want you to be the person in the conversation who says, “So I have this idea…” because I’ve seen the excitement that very statement generates in conversations and in finding solutions.

Sound fun? Sound ominous?

I’ve found we all face times when we want to be more creative, when we wish we had something to share that adds value.

Photo: Arunodhai Vinod

If you’re looking for ways to re-energize your creative side during these times of working/living remotely, here are four simple activities to get your creative energy flowing and release the artist within.

Express Yourself

What type of personality do you have? Are you able to express that personality freely with others? If not, tackle one of these projects and let your personality shine!

  • Decorate your place, or at least one room, the way you like it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else tells you, just decorate your room your way. You will be amazed when you unleash your own self-expression.
  • Dress the way you want. If tackling your place is too big of a job, then take a look at your wardrobe. Dress how you want to dress. Trust yourself and trust your instincts. You are dressing for you, not the world. Don’t worry; you can express yourself while still being professional for the team at work.
  • Dare to be fanatical. In Search of Excellence author Tom Peters (big fan) said, “Most corporations fail to tolerate the creative fanatic who has been the driving force behind most major innovations.” I hope that gives courage to aspire to a higher level.

You have to find ways in everything you do to allow creativity to flow through you. This can be as simple as the way you sign an email, send a card, the way you dress or the place you choose to live.

Photo: Anni Roenkae

Change Your Routine

If you’re stuck in a rut, do things that take you out of your normal routine. (This is one of the most energizing things I love doing to stir creative thoughts!) It doesn’t really matter how stimulating your work or home life is, when you step out of your normal routine for some “me time,” you’ll open your mind to new ideas and thoughts.

How can you step out of the norm?

  1. Read a book you wouldn’t usually pick up;
  2. Watch a movie you wouldn’t typically choose;
  3. Talk to a total stranger you think looks interesting;
  4. Go shopping at a store you have never been to. (You don’t have to buy anything, just browse if you like); or
  5. Reach out to a friend you haven’t seen forever.

Notice Your Surroundings

Another simple activity to increase your creativity is to pay attention to your surroundings. You may think that is absolutely ridiculous – after all, you see the same things and people every day, and you probably even drive the same route to and from work, too. But take a few moments and actually observe your surroundings. See things the way they are and not the way you think they are.

  • Take a different route home from work. Discover shortcuts or new neighborhoods.
  • Sit on a park bench or at the mall and people watch. Think of stories for each person or couple that you see.
  • Have you ever really paid attention to the people you see every week? Take notice. Don’t stalk or stare but pay attention. You just may find that other people can be quite the source of inspiration for creativity.
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio

Use Your Imagination

If you have a favorite poem or story you loved as a kid, start writing that story, but make the changes you always thought should be there. What were Jack and Jill really doing on their way up the hill? If they were fetching a pail of water, what was the water for? You don’t have to re-invent the wheel, simply make the everyday your own.

Increasing your creativity starts in small, simple ways. Your life is filled with opportunities for you to test your creative energies, but it’s up to you to take action! And to have fun discovering the wealth of ideas within. With that, it will be easy to be the first person in the room to say, “So I have this idea.”

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Communications Ideas Leadership Success Secrets

Become an Influencer to Lift Another Higher

Who have been the three most influential people in your life? I bet those people came to mind fairly quickly to you.

Can you name the traits that each of them had that got them into that category in your life?

If you are part of this tribe of readers, who are constantly working to improve yourself (like I am), I want to give a fun challenge: Become an influencer in another person’s life. I’m not talking about the social media influencer. Rather, this is about the good, old-fashioned one-on-one influencer that has a deep effect on another for the better.

Influence is one of the most motivating factors in decision making. When you have a major decision to make, what are the influences that drive you to a final decision?

It’s normal to base any big decisions you make on how it will affect your loved ones. In essence, you could say that those closest to you have a lot of influence on the decisions you make in life.

Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something.

So, how do you become influential so you can produce your desired effects on the actions, behaviors and opinions of others? Let’s go through some simple strategies now.

Lead by Example

The best way to influence someone is in your own behavior. This can go both ways – good or bad. If you want to influence someone to be positive and do well, you’ll need to be a living example of the behavior you expect.

In your workplace, be someone that others would want to model. That means you should strive to be on time, work diligently and avoid gossiping about others.

Also, be aware of how you spend your time at work. Are you spending it wisely or are you “milking the clock?” If you expect your co-workers or employees to make the most of their time at work, you should be doing the same.

People are led by example and will likely do whatever others around them are doing. If you’re a leader, then you’re the example they’ll follow. Remember, you can exert influence over others by becoming a positive example to model.

Communication is a Key Factor in Influencing

What you say and how you say it is of utmost importance when influencing others.

If you’re condescending or condemning in your speech, others will see you as haughty, arrogant and egotistical. Most likely, they’ll steer away from you. However, when you’re uplifting, encouraging and genuine, others tend to listen and heed what you say.

One way to speak in an encouraging tone is to use your voice as if you’re at dinner with your in-laws. You most likely wouldn’t be harsh or rude when speaking to them; nor would you speak down to them with a condescending tone. You’d use a calm tone of voice and speak pleasantly.

Think of it as using your “salt and pepper” voice. When you ask someone to pass the salt and pepper, are you rude, demanding or harsh? Not likely. You’re probably soft spoken, with a lilt in your voice, which influences the person to immediately pass the salt and pepper to you.

Be Authoritative, Not an Authoritarian

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should lack confidence when you speak, it simply means you are authoritative and not an authoritarian—that you speak with confidence rather than arrogance.

If you want to be an influence in the workplace, you’ll want to lead by example and speak with an encouraging, yet confident tone. In doing so, becoming a powerful influence can prove to be a beneficial and successful experience.